Tears

During the last few days, several conversations linger in my memory. They are words by those of us who are fathers. Listening to the mental replay later, the sound of the pain echos through my mind.

"I am going to detention to get my son. I will tell him that if he leaves home again, not to come back, our family is going a different direction."

"I am going to have a biopsy next week. I am scared, how do I tell my kids if it is serious?"

"I wish I would have had more money when these kids were growing up."

"What do I do? In a few months she will be gone from home. I am scared for her future.?

"Dad is dying. I will have lost both my parents this year. Then, it will be my generation's turn to pass, and my kids will deal with what I am having to deal with."

The tears fall, not visibly, but on the inside where it is easier to hide the pain. Still, life hurts, and we desperately need hope and comfort. The role of being strong all the time crumbles as life unfolds. Still.....

God hurts when He sees His children hurt. Why is it we are slow to recognize this fact? God's tears brought us the potential for healing. He is also there to wipe away the tears we shed inside our souls that no one else sees. Isn't it about time for us to remember that?

I think I am going nutso!

Some days are like this--nutso. Making sense out of anything is left for those whom are insanely delirious. Most of my world today has been that way. Perhaps, I should borrow that cup of coffee from Larry (my friend the bear) and acquire more mental alertness (now there is an oxymoron). May the whole world enjoy this link!! It speaks well of what I encountered on my email junk a loving friend sent to me today.

I tire of those who want me to instantly forward everything to everyone on my mailing list or I will suffer from a lack of God blessing my prayers (usually about a 10 minute window for compliance. Also, I don't think of some of these things as particularly cute! Cute is left for describing what lil kids are like--and some adult actions also. I also think some of the sob stories are better left for those who want to sob---and please, take my kleneex if you need some, and it is recycled from the last person who sobbed like you. Enjoy the link, and it is safe to forward it to at least 5 people in your mailing list.

I also tire of idiotic driving on the freeway. "Yield" does not mean get out of your way. And, did your car come with blinking directional lights as an expensive option you could not afford? Ok, enough of my yakking. My wife did make me a great dinner tonight, and that redeemed the entire day.

OH!!! I just noticed, some lil old man cannot even spell rambling correctly (as if in the name of my blog) Which reminds me, I need to learn how to add links on my page. (hint for Nic)

http://www.bordergatewayprotocol.net/jon/humor/web_animations/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf/

WHO LEFT THE SEAT UP?

The voice rings out loudly, "who left the seat up?" Everyone knows that it was me, even though either daughter-in-law who is currently yelling it to me knows exactly toward whom the finger points. All who hear the yelling also know toward whom the finger points. Being the culprit is the easiest task around.

Still, if the seat is up or down is one of the most profound ways to highlight the differences between men and women. Women think that the seat must be in a down position whenever the porcelain has been vacated--even my me. We guys are thinking of convenience, not room/utility appearances. The pictures above illustrate my thinking. Women would allow the use of "ugly but functional" duct tape to prevent us from showing the bottom side of a toilet seat to anyone who would enter the room. Guys would love to have additional functioning "tools" such as the picture on the left. Women think of beauty and appearance. We men think globally--of what many uses each thing could provide us. (kinda like stuffing all clothes into the same load in the washing machine--why waste time seperating colors and fabric? it all comes out clean in the end)

To allow a theological implication to this scene, I wonder how many times God has chuckled at men and women trying to co-exist in a world where obvious differences collide. We carefully and obediently (when we remember to) try to accomodate our spouses, mostly, I believe in a manner that has God shaking His head in amusement at our erstwhile endeavors. God must really enjoy His highest of creations, skillful at noting the differences we have, and yet inept at successfully dotting all the t's and crossing enough i's. Obviously, God has a sense of humor in enjoying His kids.

Just two thoughts. First, if we guys decorated the bottom of the toilet seats, would this be acceptable in allowing grace if the seats were left up? Just think ladies, it would be more beautiful than the current view. Secondly, I wonder (humor strictly intended) which way does God intend for seats to be left? Up or Down?

my baby pic--i found it

time to add the most recent writing of mine

Dear God,

Sometime I am so frustrated with learning how you view us. Right now, my emotions are running crazy with a sense of disorganization. At times, I want to tell you that I think you just don’t get it—as if I am “wise” enough to scream out directions telling you what to do.

How is it that you can love a poor punk kid from the wrong side of the tracks? How is it you never tire of our antics and irregular attention we give you? How is it that at one moment, life can be perceived as so blessed, and the very next, our emotions hit rock bottom? How is it that when we sense we have been the biggest failure on the planet, you place your stamp of approval on our lives? And most incredibly, you love the person that I just called stupid and irresponsible as much as you love me? Maybe I am the one who doesn’t get it.

You made me with a love for a sense of control, a desire to guide and direct and some abilities to help others. Still, with all the jagged edges in my life, it seems that wherever I turn, the proverbial brick wall is all my eyes can see. You made this body with strength, and I have damaged it till it is weak. While trying with all my best intentions to balance life, all I see now are deficits in all the wrong places. Knowing all this, how is it you still pursue me with all the love you possess?

So this is my prayer. Help me to understand that any circumstance I find myself in, I am there because you have allowed it to happen. Help me to understand that all circumstances I am part of you use as part of your redemptive plan, not only for me, but for all involved. Help me to know that you want each situation to be used to refine my heart, my will, and my understanding of you to keep my focus where it needs to be. Help me to know that your goal is eternity, while so many times, my focus is on the immediate. Help me to understand that you look at each man’s heart, not each man’s actions as I see them. May I begin to understand that your love cost you far more than we can imagine, and this defines how you want me to treat others. Forgive me when I fall flat on my face so often. Help me to understand that you desire to be my teacher, my friend, my leader, my helper, my guide, my healer, my forgiver, my everything. Help me, most of all, to begin to understand how you view me and love me.

Finally, thank you for never stopping your love for me. Thank you for your patience with my helplessness and rebellious actions. You really are incredible.

Trying to love you,

Marlin Casey

beginning

gotta get this blog thing started. boy do i have a learning curve to discover. welocme to my non-grammatically-correct typing.