cities and cars

I grew up identifying cars by their make and model, and rarely was wrong. That love of cars still lingers. First time riders in my vehicle routinely get warned that antiques, hot rods, and classic cars will interrupt all good conversations.

So, I started noticing a trend this week in the names of models of cars. It seems that the most original of our manufacturers can best summon their wisdom by designating a vehicle with the name of a city. To prove my point, I offer the following cars and names. The Durango (CO) of Dodge; Tacoma (WA) pickup built by Toyota; Tuscon (AZ) SUV built by Nissan; Malibu (CA), Chevy's long time staple; Yukon (AK) truck by GMC; and the Eagle (ID) sports car Aaron test drove once.

Some cars have numbers and symbols that make me wonder what McNally's map coordinates they were designating. Some day, I will take those Mercedes series numbers and see what city they indicate on either a Google, Yahoo, or Mapquest map. Either that, or use the numbers at some Bingo game.

There are several cities that I think manufacturers should use to name new models of vehicles. Now, with all the dignity of a naming agency, I offer my observations on those selected cities. Yes, these are real American cities.

1. Weeping Water (NE)--a constantly leaking radiator has held this mini van from real sales success.
2. Plainville (MA) no chrome, cloth and no leather, no hubcaps, no radio, no wipers
3. Gray (ME) you guessed it, available in only one color.
4. The Kennedy, a heavy sedan, liberally loaded with many options, many speaker options
5. Venice (CA) an import complete with Pirelli tires
6. Paw Paw (MI) drives like a beagle, looks like a poodle
7. Dodgeville (WI) made by Kia
8. Great Falls (MT) failed most safety tests
9. Belcherville (MA) noisy, struggles to pass emission tests
10. Scalp Level (PA) sold well to heady executives
11. Trophy Club (TX) professional athlete choice in wheels
12. Welcome (SC) never has a driver of these recieved an aggressive driving ticket
13. Pleasureville (KY) designed as a first car for teens, complete with DVD, built in oversized woofers, powered by Blueberry
14. Providence (MD) preferred by all clergy
15. De Witt (AR) one year after introduction, renamed the Dimwit
16. Corn (OK) first grain fueled vehicle successfully marketed in urban America
17. Iverness (FL) standard equiped with golf cart and trailer
18. Signal Hill (CA) never stops blinking
19. Superior (WI) name was a farce, first car built completely with plastic
20. Iron Gate (VA) a return to steel vehicles, weighs 3.6 tons for a 2 door sedan
21. Enterprise (KS) built to satisfy 2 consumer groups, one for Spock and his friends, the other for successful business owners
22. Bald Knob (AR) a shiny car, complete with removable top
23. Nacodoches (TX) pronounce it correctly the first time and get 10% rebate
24. Sheboygan (WI) just because I would love to hear kindergarten kids try to tell their teacher what kind of SUV their mom drives.